|parent:||why hasn't ____ been round lately? I thought you were friends|
|me:||well they turned into a cunt|
nice try mom
Let’s play a fun game called “we’re just friends but I’d fuck you if you asked”
I need to have as much wild sex as possible so one day I can become an inappropriate old lady that blurts out things like “when I was your age I got a concussion after being bent over a desk” and then my family can be like “grandma please, you’re making easter dinner really uncomfortable” and it’ll be great
If you’re out in public and I see you’re not wearing any protective headgear does that give me the right to smash in your skull with a hammer? I mean you asked for it, since you’re not wearing something to protect your head.
You can be in a relationship for two years and feel nothing; you can be in a relationship for 2 months and feel everything. Time is not a measure of quality; of infatuation, or of love.
raise your hand if you think Diana is a bitch for taking out Iain’s baked Alaska and leaving it to melt